I thought this was great:
Viagra Ingredients:
3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch &Super Glue
87% Fix-A-Flat
Also, check out Patches the Horse. For those who say we dog owners go overboard, the evidence speaks for itself.
Check out these cartoons:
Igloo Contractors
Stray Bar
Have a good laugh and avoid the vomit.....
Monday, January 31, 2005
Friday, January 28, 2005
Tex...We hardly knew ya'
I adopted Tex labor Day weekend 2001. He passed over the rainbow bridge on December 4, 2004 at 3:30 am. He was a great dog and I miss him greatly.
Here is Tex's Christmas pic:
Tex was severely abused as a puppy. When I adopted him he would hunch down and pee if I approached him. It took 1.5 years to really get him to socialize with people and other dogs.
Tex loved to chase tennis balls and would chase as long as you threw. When we would go to friends' to play, he would chase tennis balls and periodically stop and jump in a watering trough filled with water. In the picture you can see Cody is also wet. Cody would jump in and then dive under the water: we call him The Sub Commander.
Tex had bilateral hip dysplasia, and so getting up and down was painful but he was always ready to jump up and lay his head on your lap to be petted. If you know much about rescue dogs, you know that they love to be loved.
When I got home from work, Tex was lying right outside the doggy door and he couldn't move. He did wag his tail when he saw me. It was 1 A.M., and so I called a very good friend and he helped me carry Tex on a sleeping bag to my Excursion. By the time we unloaded him at the Emergency Vet Clinic, he was on his way out. I was so sick. I loved him so much and I was going to lose him; he was the second dog I ever owned and the first to die. I still miss him. I have his ashes still sitting on the kitchen table; there is some comfort in knowing he is home.
I can't wait to get to heaven and see Tex again, this time running without pain and chasing all the tennis balls he want. After our reunion, we'll cross the bridge together to be with our Creator.
Here is Tex's Christmas pic:
Tex was severely abused as a puppy. When I adopted him he would hunch down and pee if I approached him. It took 1.5 years to really get him to socialize with people and other dogs.
Tex loved to chase tennis balls and would chase as long as you threw. When we would go to friends' to play, he would chase tennis balls and periodically stop and jump in a watering trough filled with water. In the picture you can see Cody is also wet. Cody would jump in and then dive under the water: we call him The Sub Commander.
Tex had bilateral hip dysplasia, and so getting up and down was painful but he was always ready to jump up and lay his head on your lap to be petted. If you know much about rescue dogs, you know that they love to be loved.
When I got home from work, Tex was lying right outside the doggy door and he couldn't move. He did wag his tail when he saw me. It was 1 A.M., and so I called a very good friend and he helped me carry Tex on a sleeping bag to my Excursion. By the time we unloaded him at the Emergency Vet Clinic, he was on his way out. I was so sick. I loved him so much and I was going to lose him; he was the second dog I ever owned and the first to die. I still miss him. I have his ashes still sitting on the kitchen table; there is some comfort in knowing he is home.
I can't wait to get to heaven and see Tex again, this time running without pain and chasing all the tennis balls he want. After our reunion, we'll cross the bridge together to be with our Creator.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
The Accident...
It happens in an instant and things are never the same. You never really know what is different, but something is. Others notice it but you never do. My boss, my friends, my coworkers all knew there was something wrong but nobody said anything. You struggle to be "normal" yet you war against yourself.
It was October 5, 1999. I was driving south bound on Ambler in Abilene, TX and had just passed the Pizza Hut and was heading toward Westlake Road/FM 600. The next thing I know I was waking up from losing a battle with the truck ceiling and an airbag. We were both taken to the hospital; I was in much better shape than her. She had missed the stop sign on Westlake Road and when she realized it she locked up her brakes. I hit her broadside on the driver's door. I was in a 1997 Ford F150 4x4. She appeared to be seizuring out.
At the hospital we were in adjoining trauma rooms and they didn't close the door. I laid on the table with the most uncomfortable neck brace on and listened to the repeated codes as they worked on her. I was all alone and in tears; they finally closed the doors. It doesn't matter whether it is your fault or not when you kill someone. As people showed up and try to convince me of this it only made matters worse. My friend Bert came and just simply held my hand and let me cry; there really nothing to say, I just wanted someone to be there with me, someone to make the pain and the horror go away.
For three to four months after the accident I couldn't sleep. Every night brought nightmares and every morning as I awoke I could smell the odor of a deployed airbag: I woke up believing that I was still in my truck. I was taking sleeping pills which provided sleep but left me in a haze for most of the day.
My face was badly damaged. When people would see it they knew that I lost the fight. When Dr. Osburn (I was talking Gospels seminar at the time) saw my face he was taken aback. Along with my face, most of the cartilage in my right knee was destroy and my medial meniscus torn in two when the dash was pushed back into my right leg. I have had one knee surgery to deal with some of the pain but will eventually required knee replacement.
From October until February, doctors and rehab specialist were trying to convince me that there was nothing wrong with my knee. I found an orthopaedic surgeon who said otherwise. I had surgery March 23, 2000 to remove the meniscus and clean up the cartilage debris. During this time I was also arguing with her insurance company (which by the way was also mine.) They refused to pay any of my medical bills so I retained an attorney. Once the doctor receive a letter from the attorney, he dropped me like a hot potato, accusing me of faking pain for the money. He wrote a nasty letter to my attorney basically saying that once the trial was over my knee would get better. Again, the stress continued to grow.
Over the summer of 2000, I began to take pain medication for my knee. I liked the medication way too much and used it as a mood enhancer; i was addicted. The rest of 2000 and the most 2001 are a blur. I was struggling to deal with the death of a woman, the addiction to pain medication and continued pain in my knee that keep me from exercising. In July of 2001 I became sick and really couldn't kick it. At the end of November I went to my doctor and he ran blood test. On December 7, 2001, one day before my 37th birthday, I was diagnosed as type-2 non-insulin dependent diabetes mellitus (NIDDM). Another blow to self.
It was October 5, 1999. I was driving south bound on Ambler in Abilene, TX and had just passed the Pizza Hut and was heading toward Westlake Road/FM 600. The next thing I know I was waking up from losing a battle with the truck ceiling and an airbag. We were both taken to the hospital; I was in much better shape than her. She had missed the stop sign on Westlake Road and when she realized it she locked up her brakes. I hit her broadside on the driver's door. I was in a 1997 Ford F150 4x4. She appeared to be seizuring out.
At the hospital we were in adjoining trauma rooms and they didn't close the door. I laid on the table with the most uncomfortable neck brace on and listened to the repeated codes as they worked on her. I was all alone and in tears; they finally closed the doors. It doesn't matter whether it is your fault or not when you kill someone. As people showed up and try to convince me of this it only made matters worse. My friend Bert came and just simply held my hand and let me cry; there really nothing to say, I just wanted someone to be there with me, someone to make the pain and the horror go away.
For three to four months after the accident I couldn't sleep. Every night brought nightmares and every morning as I awoke I could smell the odor of a deployed airbag: I woke up believing that I was still in my truck. I was taking sleeping pills which provided sleep but left me in a haze for most of the day.
My face was badly damaged. When people would see it they knew that I lost the fight. When Dr. Osburn (I was talking Gospels seminar at the time) saw my face he was taken aback. Along with my face, most of the cartilage in my right knee was destroy and my medial meniscus torn in two when the dash was pushed back into my right leg. I have had one knee surgery to deal with some of the pain but will eventually required knee replacement.
From October until February, doctors and rehab specialist were trying to convince me that there was nothing wrong with my knee. I found an orthopaedic surgeon who said otherwise. I had surgery March 23, 2000 to remove the meniscus and clean up the cartilage debris. During this time I was also arguing with her insurance company (which by the way was also mine.) They refused to pay any of my medical bills so I retained an attorney. Once the doctor receive a letter from the attorney, he dropped me like a hot potato, accusing me of faking pain for the money. He wrote a nasty letter to my attorney basically saying that once the trial was over my knee would get better. Again, the stress continued to grow.
Over the summer of 2000, I began to take pain medication for my knee. I liked the medication way too much and used it as a mood enhancer; i was addicted. The rest of 2000 and the most 2001 are a blur. I was struggling to deal with the death of a woman, the addiction to pain medication and continued pain in my knee that keep me from exercising. In July of 2001 I became sick and really couldn't kick it. At the end of November I went to my doctor and he ran blood test. On December 7, 2001, one day before my 37th birthday, I was diagnosed as type-2 non-insulin dependent diabetes mellitus (NIDDM). Another blow to self.
Friday, January 21, 2005
The simple things...
Do you remember the first prayer you memorized? Most likely it was the Lord's Prayer. It's like riding a bike -- you never forget it. Think of all the ocassions when we recite it as a group for this very reason.
It reminds me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the procedure for flying. It was quite simple: miss the ground. That seems simple enough, but try it. Gravity has a way of screwing that up. It sounds simple but its not and that what the Lord's Prayer is.
Simple? Yes! Easily memorized? Yes! Easy to apply? Not a chance! What screws me up most are those two little lines: "...forgive our debts/trangressions/sins/stupidity/ignorance, as we forgive our debts/trangressors/sinners/stupid/ignorant...." Not quite so easy for me.
Its like accumulating the forgiveness I undeservedly get and not wanting to pay my forgiveness bill. I want to get, I don't want to give. Truthfully, I don't want to forgive, I was to be judge, jury and executioner. I am one vindictive son of a bitch. The problem is that I should fear this situation but I don't.
Realizing how much forgiveness I need to spend ought to put me on my knees -- it doesn't. Being on my knees assumes that I realize that I'm not the king, but I don't. I am king of my world and I don't want to abdicate. Abdicating requires me to admit that I have f***ed up the world that I have ruled. Look at the disasters: financial, social, sexual, professional, educational. Maintaining my kingdom has required me to lie, cheat, steal and selfishly seek my own survival over everything else. I can treat others however I want as long as I maintain self. I make narcissist look like mere amateurs.
If I start forgiving people, what happens to my kingdom? I have all the citizens there that I punish: the one who insulted my; the one who abused me; the one who didn't do it my way; the one who embarrassed, etc., ad nauseum, ad infinitum. Before you know it, one is two, then four: a sizeable kingdom. And, I get to manage everyone of them. They are my captive subjects. I will not forgive them because to forgive them loosens my grip on my kingdom and that shows the cracks in my world. Reality is ever ready to squeeze through those crevices and force me to confront him. I escape by turning back to fantasy and the internet is ready to serve me. I don't really need the internet or TV because my kingdom is full of images that I can readily bring to mind.
I refuse to forgive! I am the victim! Look what all those nasty people have done to me!!! I don't deserve this. I sin however I want because I deserve it. Don't want to give me my way? Welcome to my kingdom. You have victimized me and you will pay. I ascend my throne and condemn you. You will leave but I will replay this over and over. I will invent fantasies in which you are sexually humiliated because I was. This movie plays over and over.
Then reality sets in and I realize that I am not king of kingdom but a prisoner in a dark pit who has the key to the door but refuses to leave. How can I leave all my friends in this pit, all alone? I have created my own prison and when things don't go my way I run back and hide.
The most corrosive substance in the universe is unforgiveness. I want my sins forgiven but I'm not willing to forgive anyone else's missteps. I go through the parking lot at work and complain about the idiots who can't park but I don't want the same standard applied to me. What a self-righteous asshole. Can't imagine why anybody wants to hangout with me!?!?!
There is a story about a guy who overextended himself. They day of reckoning comes and he pleads for more time, a lower interest rate, maybe even a discount. There's not much of a chance, but he tries anyway. He can't believe what he is hearing: the debt is written off. What? Did he say, "Forgiven?" He did!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you thank you!!! On his way out of the bank, he starts laughing. What a idiot. He was easy to manipulate. The ol' charm works again. He starts to think about what excuse he'll use next time -- it's a given to work. Then he sees one of his friends. That cheapskate owes me $2.50 from Taco Bueno the other night. He'll rue the day he ever borrowed money from me.
When I bought my first dog Cody (that's his pic,) I took him to training and we used choke collars. I was easily frustrated and Cody took more than his fair share of abuse from the collar. Yet, Cody never held it against me. When I walk into the house he runs to me and licks me and wants me to pet him. What a great dog. He never thinks about all the yanks and the threats and the frustration, he only wants to be close to me because he loves me.
Father,
I am almost done with my MDiv but my dog is more a reflection of forgiveness than I am. Help me to love people like he does. Help me to forgive others like he forgives me. You say that it is the simple things that confound the wise: I'm confounded.
It's not a fair world but I want it to be and in wanting it to be, I have paralyzed myself. I can't be your ambassador because I want to rule my world and exact the justice that I want. Help me to forgive, to allow you to exact what justice is necessary. But, I ask that you'll be merciful to them like you are to me.
A prophet from long ago said, "He has shown thee, Oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of me. But to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Help me to be this kind of man. Help me to understand things that are so simple that even a dog can understand them.
Keep me from my vomit,
It reminds me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the procedure for flying. It was quite simple: miss the ground. That seems simple enough, but try it. Gravity has a way of screwing that up. It sounds simple but its not and that what the Lord's Prayer is.
Simple? Yes! Easily memorized? Yes! Easy to apply? Not a chance! What screws me up most are those two little lines: "...forgive our debts/trangressions/sins/stupidity/ignorance, as we forgive our debts/trangressors/sinners/stupid/ignorant...." Not quite so easy for me.
Its like accumulating the forgiveness I undeservedly get and not wanting to pay my forgiveness bill. I want to get, I don't want to give. Truthfully, I don't want to forgive, I was to be judge, jury and executioner. I am one vindictive son of a bitch. The problem is that I should fear this situation but I don't.
Realizing how much forgiveness I need to spend ought to put me on my knees -- it doesn't. Being on my knees assumes that I realize that I'm not the king, but I don't. I am king of my world and I don't want to abdicate. Abdicating requires me to admit that I have f***ed up the world that I have ruled. Look at the disasters: financial, social, sexual, professional, educational. Maintaining my kingdom has required me to lie, cheat, steal and selfishly seek my own survival over everything else. I can treat others however I want as long as I maintain self. I make narcissist look like mere amateurs.
If I start forgiving people, what happens to my kingdom? I have all the citizens there that I punish: the one who insulted my; the one who abused me; the one who didn't do it my way; the one who embarrassed, etc., ad nauseum, ad infinitum. Before you know it, one is two, then four: a sizeable kingdom. And, I get to manage everyone of them. They are my captive subjects. I will not forgive them because to forgive them loosens my grip on my kingdom and that shows the cracks in my world. Reality is ever ready to squeeze through those crevices and force me to confront him. I escape by turning back to fantasy and the internet is ready to serve me. I don't really need the internet or TV because my kingdom is full of images that I can readily bring to mind.
I refuse to forgive! I am the victim! Look what all those nasty people have done to me!!! I don't deserve this. I sin however I want because I deserve it. Don't want to give me my way? Welcome to my kingdom. You have victimized me and you will pay. I ascend my throne and condemn you. You will leave but I will replay this over and over. I will invent fantasies in which you are sexually humiliated because I was. This movie plays over and over.
Then reality sets in and I realize that I am not king of kingdom but a prisoner in a dark pit who has the key to the door but refuses to leave. How can I leave all my friends in this pit, all alone? I have created my own prison and when things don't go my way I run back and hide.
The most corrosive substance in the universe is unforgiveness. I want my sins forgiven but I'm not willing to forgive anyone else's missteps. I go through the parking lot at work and complain about the idiots who can't park but I don't want the same standard applied to me. What a self-righteous asshole. Can't imagine why anybody wants to hangout with me!?!?!
There is a story about a guy who overextended himself. They day of reckoning comes and he pleads for more time, a lower interest rate, maybe even a discount. There's not much of a chance, but he tries anyway. He can't believe what he is hearing: the debt is written off. What? Did he say, "Forgiven?" He did!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you thank you!!! On his way out of the bank, he starts laughing. What a idiot. He was easy to manipulate. The ol' charm works again. He starts to think about what excuse he'll use next time -- it's a given to work. Then he sees one of his friends. That cheapskate owes me $2.50 from Taco Bueno the other night. He'll rue the day he ever borrowed money from me.
When I bought my first dog Cody (that's his pic,) I took him to training and we used choke collars. I was easily frustrated and Cody took more than his fair share of abuse from the collar. Yet, Cody never held it against me. When I walk into the house he runs to me and licks me and wants me to pet him. What a great dog. He never thinks about all the yanks and the threats and the frustration, he only wants to be close to me because he loves me.
Father,
I am almost done with my MDiv but my dog is more a reflection of forgiveness than I am. Help me to love people like he does. Help me to forgive others like he forgives me. You say that it is the simple things that confound the wise: I'm confounded.
It's not a fair world but I want it to be and in wanting it to be, I have paralyzed myself. I can't be your ambassador because I want to rule my world and exact the justice that I want. Help me to forgive, to allow you to exact what justice is necessary. But, I ask that you'll be merciful to them like you are to me.
A prophet from long ago said, "He has shown thee, Oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of me. But to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Help me to be this kind of man. Help me to understand things that are so simple that even a dog can understand them.
Keep me from my vomit,
Why the name?
Well, if you're familiar with proverbs (26:11) you know the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say, "...so a sinner to his sin." That's me. I try to turn away but it seems that I always end up back in the swamp with all the other sinners.
Paul was right when he said that what he wanted to do he couldn't, and what he didn't want to do he did. O, Woe is me!
I have in the past and am currently going through tough situations and I want to explore, out loud, in this blog the repeated times that I am just like that dog.
You'll notice the picture is of a dog. This is my golden retriever Cody. He is a sweet dog, but when he vomits he goes right back. How apropos.
Paul was right when he said that what he wanted to do he couldn't, and what he didn't want to do he did. O, Woe is me!
I have in the past and am currently going through tough situations and I want to explore, out loud, in this blog the repeated times that I am just like that dog.
You'll notice the picture is of a dog. This is my golden retriever Cody. He is a sweet dog, but when he vomits he goes right back. How apropos.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Howdy
Folks,
This is my first attempt at blogging so give me some leeway. I have lots to say and I pray that some of it is worth reading and throught-provoking.
This is my first attempt at blogging so give me some leeway. I have lots to say and I pray that some of it is worth reading and throught-provoking.
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